3 Part Model for Fulfillment
There are three phases to gain pleasure from an action: desire, pursuit, and accomplishment. When all three work together, you perform healthy behaviors that lead to fulfillment. When any one of the three are out of sync, destructive behaviors can form.
I have a friend who works at Sober Living by the Sea. He let me borrow a DVD called Pleasure Unwoven by Kevin McCauley to help me in my quest to understand how neurotransmitters work in our motivations. Simply to say, this video was amazing! It really helped me to understand what goes on in the brain and why things go wrong.
Motivators: Pleasure and Pain
On the most basic experiential level, we are motivated to do things that are pleasurable and avoid things that bring us pain. Usually, these two motivators work together to keep us alive. Hunger is painful, so we look for food. Food tastes good, so we are rewarded for our action. As we become full, the food becomes less rewarding (diminishing marginal returns). If we eat too much, it becomes painful to eat, so we stop. There is a feedback loop that regulates our behaviors by varying the pleasure and pain we receive.
The harmful effects of addiction occur when this pleasure-pain system unravels and we are motivated to do things that don’t help us to survive. McCauley gives the example of when you are starving, you will want chocolate cake over broccoli and it will taste better too, because the chocolate cake will save your life. But how often are we starving? Yet, we still choose the chocolate cake because the pleasure compels us.
Learning an Instinct
Pleasure Unwoven was a wonderful video because it explains the neurochemical reactions that lead to addiction. When we expect a reward (pleasure), dopamine is released in the emotional part of the brain, making us desire to get it. Another chemical in the brain, called glutamate, is then released in the decision-making part of the brain, telling us to go get it.
Once we get it and it is indeed good, our brain will release more dopamine, signaling that this behavior is something important. Glutamate is released again so you remember it and respond quicker next time. Each cycle of expecting reward and receiving reward, the behavior becomes increasingly instinctual and automatic. What begins as a conscious decision eventually becomes a compulsive behavior.
The 3 Part Model for Fulfillment
There are three different stages in an action that produces pleasure. If all three are in sync, the action will follow through and you will experience a sense of fulfillment. Here are the three stages:
- 1. Desire: Just wanting something is rewarding in itself. You feel good when an attractive person walks by you or if you smell something delicious. Once it engages your senses, you mind becomes focused on the experience.
This stage can go wrong when it triggers a craving for something you should not do or distracts you from something you should do. You may be constantly longing and never present in your current world.
- 2. Pursuit: This is the stage where flow occurs and your brain says: “This is important. Devote all your energy to this.” There is pleasure when you can give your all to something because your mind no longer processes worries. It feels good to be able to chase after something you want.
- 3. Accomplishment: Once you are done, you need to feel good about what you did. This is the stage where your conscious mind evaluates the “goodness” of your actions. If you acted solely out of impulse, you may look upon your behavior with disdain (producing a punishment). If you feel satisfied with your actions, you give yourself a reward and motivate yourself to repeat the cycle.
The pleasure and pain centers of your brain are very simple and do not distinguish between actions (such as eating, running, reading a book, etc.). All they know is that if something feels good or bad, it’s probably important. We have the ability to experience pleasure beyond normal “basic” activities, but we may also fall victim to pleasures that cause harm.
