Everyone has their own opinions. Some have nice things to say about you, while others may have some not so nice things to say. Should you listen or should you ignore?

On the WLC Forums, Brad Blackman discussed his thoughts on separating himself from the situation. I too have a tendency to take things personally, but found some help when reading about Bruce Lee.

Bruce Lee’s Lats

I was looking online for information on how Bruce Lee trained his latissimus dorsi muscles and came across a body building forum talking about them. Some had practical responses, giving exercises and stretches to build the area. Some gave praises to Bruce Lee himself. Some even called him a “wimp” compared some other body builders.

I was struck by the negative comments directed towards Bruce Lee. To some, Bruce Lee is a legend, but there are others who feel the need to bring him down. No matter what people say, be it good or bad, they will not affect Bruce because he is no longer here to be affected. Although these comments were about Bruce Lee, they obviously were not directed at him.

Rather than being feedback, these negative comments are the individual’s reaction to Bruce Lee. They are a very personal expression of how the individual feels, which is a reflection of the individual and not the target of the comment. They are telling you something about themselves, even if it seems they are trying to say something about you.

Is it the Same for Us?

The difference between Bruce Lee and the rest of us is that we are still able take in feedback and take things personally (even if it’s not meant to be personal). When people say things about you, is it possible that they too are just expressing their personal reaction to you? If you think it’s possible, then you no longer need to take it personally.

On the other hand, you are the agent of the reaction: they see you and they respond. Their reaction may be dependent on how they process what you give them, but you have the ability to manage what they receive. If many people are dissatisfied, maybe it is an indication that you need to change. Then again, it is possible that they are all wrong.

Deciding to respond to criticism depends on whether you care or not. If you believe you are being attacked, then you may want to defend yourself. If you believe they are being overly reactive, their response may have no bearing on you. If you believe you are causing an undesired reaction, you may want to change.